Expertise

This year I have been eagerly trying to find new things to learn, new ways to entertain myself at home mostly and new ways to be creative. I really wanted to discover, or uncover, a secret natural ability within me. Something I was good at, something I could create and hopefully, something I could make and give to others. 

Cooking has been my creative vice for the past few years. I longingly search for tempting recipes and delightful cookies to create and pass on. I cook and bake and cook and bake and eat and eat and eat. My health will soon seriously suffer if I do not find another way to create and pass on good stuff. I feel so oddly driven by this desire to create and give, that I've attempted some very basic hobby-level learnings this year in an effort to satisfy this wanting. 

I decided to give knitting a go. I dug through old crafting remnants and found dusty yarn. After realizing I never owned the needles I was sure I had hidden somewhere in deep boxes, I decided to just purchase a set. Of course, there are about ten million types of needles. I discovered this same idea when I decided to give up knitting, two hands was too confusing, for crocheting. While I enjoyed crocheting, I was left unsatisfied. I spent hours with yarn and needle in hand only to make wonky, mishappen triangles or squares. I attempted a hat, only to make a strange circle of bubbly yarn. I wasn't sold. I knew it would take time, but my motivation was lacking. 

A good friend of mine showed me her incredibly admirable quilting skills and I was entranced. The bright, bold patterns and gorgeous, soft fabric caught my eye and imagination. Not to mention, it took me days to crochet a small triangle and a week do knit a similar pattern, this sewing seemed so immediate and instantly gratifying. So, I gave it a shot. 

Turns out I can't quite cut fabric in a straight line. Seems the simplest tasks can be daunting when you are placing your very happiness in its hands. Yes, I cried over crooked cotton. But, unlike the yarn craft attempts, I haven't given up. Putting the pieces together and seeing it almost all come together has been enchanting and I'm digging learning new terms and tools to use (or misuse). 

Of the many things I've tried to learn over the past years, I'm hopeful for the quilting. I admit that I was opposed to it originally due to the decidedly old-fashioned stigma it enjoys, but I slowly realized that it all depends on what the person creating decides to use, what patterns and textures and shapes, and in this way, it reminds me of cooking. Of finding and tweaking recipes, searching for just the right ingredients and remembering how they affected past attempts, putting all of them together, going from strange separate entities to something amazing in hours or even minutes. All the pieces come together and form something unique and something to share, to enjoy. Only this time, with the quilts, they can last. The endeavor can warm or delight, can be a fort or a cuddle, a decoration or a hidden security element, pulled out when monsters lurk. It can be around for a lifetime, loved for its comfort and stored for its memories, brought out to retell its glory days. It can be given an honorary place at the foot of the bed or the arm of a chair and be stroked for good luck. It lasts, and while the memory of a great dish is something I'll always enjoy and employ, I can't deny the craving for creating something that lasts, or at least has the potential to do so.